There’s a running joke around here that when it comes to technology, Treva can break just about anything. Don’t mention the laptop to Doreen. Which makes it pretty funny that this blog was Treva’s idea, and she’s clearly the one that keeps it going -- if she didn’t poke at me constantly, I wouldn’t get anything posted. Yes, sad but true, when it comes to promo and marketing, I suck. And I bet a lot of you do, too. Which gave me the idea to share my current trials and tribulations. No, this is not an informative how to make pretty promo materials article. This is pure… fun? Maybe we need to look at the definition of fun. Let’s just say this is for Treva. Because she’s not the only one who occasionally loses the battle with technology.
Changeling outgrew the pantry a few years ago, and we got an office. Cool little office in an office complex with -- neighbors. Now if you know anything about small business, you’ll know an office complex comes with its share of intrigue and politics. So when Bill and I came in to work one morning to see a truck out front loading up office equipment, we weren’t shocked. Small businesses come and go. This one happened to be a computer business. I said “Good Morning” to our almost former neighbor as we came in and he asked me if I wanted a printer. Umm, we, like, HAVE printer. OK, not like this one. Tally 8006 commercial color laser printer.
Now I’ll admit, when someone gives you a $4000 printer, there’s usually a reason. Neighbor said it wouldn’t fit on the truck (We’re talking the size of an under-the-counter refrigerator, on a stand, with wheels, because that’s the ONLY way to move it) and since it was a rental truck he didn’t want to make another 100 mile round trip. Whatever. I was in lust. (With the printer.) Then after the truck pulled away the locksmith showed up to change the locks, and I got the picture. (Another sad thing about small businesses -- a lot of them literally disappear overnight.) In any case, I had a new printer. At least as long as the toner cartridges last. And they seemed pretty full. Not an every day printer -- has like a 3 minute warm-up cycle. It’s designed for high volume, high speed color printing. Great for color promo stuff. Not good for printing email.
So after clearing the 14 page paper jam, installing laser paper instead of light weight garbage copy paper, and printing a gorgeous test page, I tried -- unsuccessfully to install this printer. For several hours. I’m not going to admit technology has beaten me, ever. Eventually I called the manufacturer’s tech support line. Sure, they’d be glad to come out and look at it -- from DC, only 90 minutes away, for $900. Plus parts. WTF??? I’m not the Pentagon. OK, I can talk to phone support for free. Found the problem. Printer had been unplugged long enough it lost its settings. Needed to be told it wasn’t exclusively networked. (I can hear Treva making that na-na-na-na-na noise. Never mind, dear. It just didn’t know what I wanted it to do.) Reprogrammed the printer. After that 3 minute warm up cycle, it finally printed. Gorgeous. Printed 100 color flyers. In like 2 minutes. (I didn’t really keep track, but it was FAST.)
Now like most of you I don’t need to do a lot of promotional stuff every day, and so the printer sat for a while. Until I got ready for RT -- here’s where the marketing comes in -- and realized I needed to print promo stuff. I know how to make it -- I just don’t. Often. And never ahead of time.
Anyway, time for more color flyers.
Except I have to reprogram the printer again.
OK. Another phone call. But now we’re ready to… paper jam. Hmm. Checked the paper type. Turned the paper over. Went to Office Max and bought more expensive paper. Invented new and more creative paper jams. Cleaned printer w compressed air. Cursed at printer in all the most creative ways I know. Wasted a day attempting to beat technology at it’s own game.
And here’s where we remember how well I married. Man wanders over from his corner of the office, where he’s been wisely staying out of target range. Man looks at frustrated woman. Man looks at “free” printer. Man hands M a Staples flyer all about a printer sale… along w a $25 coupon. And offers to drive.
Two working days to deadline, M now has pretty promo stuff. And if anyone wants a free printer… what exactly do you DO with an 80 pound doorstop, anyway? (I’m keeping the wheely printer stand/table. It’s cool. And I earned it.)
Margaret Riley
AKA Shelby The Terminator
http://www.changelingpress.com